Too Hard to Stand

Life just has a way of knocking you are your butt sometimes.  And to make it worse, life has a way of sitting on you when you try to get back up!  Over the past few weeks school has become a livid nightmare, unfortunately in many ways that nightmare has become real.  I feel like i just got blasted by a cannon ball hurled through the air and in the process lost my leg, only to have ever professor dictate the command to "Get back on you feet, charge that hill!"  Have you ever tried to charge a hill with your leg blown off, it's not a pretty picture.

On a more serious note, there is nothing quit as painful and dark as those moments when you feel as though your life is completely out of control.  I have felt like i have been asked to do the impossible, i don't have to capacity, the gifts, nor talents, the laws of physics demand to be enforced.  I have felt my knees buckle under this load, were my prayers begin because literally my knees were forced to the floor.  It is these moments that the English language or any language for that matter is utterly worthless, it has not power to covey anything of what i feel.  Nor am i capable of uttering anything coherent.

It is in these moments that i have no clue what pray for or even how to ask for help that the Holy Ghost intercedes.  "...the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered" (Roman 8:26).  There is indeed a special spirit that is with us in these moments, though often my burned is never taken, my Father always seems to draw closer in return.  It is in those moments were nothing is spoken everything is said, both from my soul and from Him.

There is a peace that comes..."For we are saved by hope"  i'm comforted by my Father whom i cannot see, yet my soul seems to know "If God be for [me], who can be against [me]?" There is nothing that can separate us from the Love of our God and yet i know that He draws ever closer as we pray to Him in are times of sheer distress.  For my soul has found peace on my knees even when mind had no capacity to speak the feeling of my soul.  He Lives and Love us this I know, In the Name of Jesus Christ, Aman.