Too Hard to Stand

Life just has a way of knocking you are your butt sometimes.  And to make it worse, life has a way of sitting on you when you try to get back up!  Over the past few weeks school has become a livid nightmare, unfortunately in many ways that nightmare has become real.  I feel like i just got blasted by a cannon ball hurled through the air and in the process lost my leg, only to have ever professor dictate the command to "Get back on you feet, charge that hill!"  Have you ever tried to charge a hill with your leg blown off, it's not a pretty picture.

On a more serious note, there is nothing quit as painful and dark as those moments when you feel as though your life is completely out of control.  I have felt like i have been asked to do the impossible, i don't have to capacity, the gifts, nor talents, the laws of physics demand to be enforced.  I have felt my knees buckle under this load, were my prayers begin because literally my knees were forced to the floor.  It is these moments that the English language or any language for that matter is utterly worthless, it has not power to covey anything of what i feel.  Nor am i capable of uttering anything coherent.

It is in these moments that i have no clue what pray for or even how to ask for help that the Holy Ghost intercedes.  "...the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered" (Roman 8:26).  There is indeed a special spirit that is with us in these moments, though often my burned is never taken, my Father always seems to draw closer in return.  It is in those moments were nothing is spoken everything is said, both from my soul and from Him.

There is a peace that comes..."For we are saved by hope"  i'm comforted by my Father whom i cannot see, yet my soul seems to know "If God be for [me], who can be against [me]?" There is nothing that can separate us from the Love of our God and yet i know that He draws ever closer as we pray to Him in are times of sheer distress.  For my soul has found peace on my knees even when mind had no capacity to speak the feeling of my soul.  He Lives and Love us this I know, In the Name of Jesus Christ, Aman.

Lourin Fine

Boring to 5'7'' brown hair, blue eyes, and a English major.  Life is so much more fun when your meeting new people.  Lourin is my ISA class.  It was fun to finally meet someone that is supper outgoing and friendly.  She is from Masia, AZ and loves music.  She has been involved with music all her life and every calling she has ever had in the church has had somthing to do with music.

Life is so much more fun meeting new people.

Add some Purple

Have you ever met someone that critics everything to the point of utterly destroying it?  In other words some one that if you gave them a red pen and asked them mark everything that was wrong with a piece of work, all one would be left with is something that looks like a blood bath.  I have such a professor, literally there is nothing that passes here critical eye.  With this being said let me tell you about purple.

My group had a technical project due in which we were required to print a formal copy and post it for the classes review.  We thought we had everything covered and just need to print a formal copy.  Upon walking into class i first noticed a small look of horror on my teammates face, i then noticed that our technical description was covertly covered up under his book.  This raised my concern for usually when one is proud of something you don't hide it under  a book.  That is when i heard the worst words one can ever hear..."Check this out!"

Our document was aesthetically pleasing, it was design with vertical boxes capture the main points.  These boxes we had very carefully chosen to be cougar blue; however, that was not the blue staring me in the face.  Rather everywhere blue was supposed to be a saw puke purple, not purple--puke purple. Our document was purple! And the description covertly hiding in the sea of purple.

I couldn't shoot myself so i just started to laugh!  In fact i laughed so hard i interrupted the entire class because i couldn't stop for the first 15 minutes.

It was in this rage of laughter that i met and began to interact with two awesome girls.  Since then we have become really good friends.  I now when something going horribly wrong the phrase is, "You should have added purple!"

Just What You Deserve

Have you even been blamed for something that you didn't do?  I think this is one of the most infuriating circumstances to me!  You can hang me out to dry for the crimes i commit but accuse me of something i didn't do and i'll fight you to my dying breath.

Now, have you ever been accused of something that you did do?  These are the moments were i discover i have messed up, they are the moments were the consequences come into focus as though they were blurred before. The blood seems to sink to my toes, my heart pounds, and ever mussel goes weak.  I will never deny something that i have done wrong but in these moments i would give anything to change the past and avoid the consequences.  I feel like i'm standing in front of a firing line.  The strong reality is in one way or another and directly i stand condemned before the Lord.  In some way i have messed up.  "They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one"  (Romans 3:12).

In very real way the consequence for these short comings is death.  "For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness...for the end of those things is death" (6:20).  There is no more horrible feeling!  I will confess that God is just and this is the end that i deserve.

However, this is not the end to the law.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is "Good News," news that the law will be satisfied but by the blood of the lamb.  Our Father offered His only son to by me back from the death, justice, and hell that i so richly deserved.  Christ who was perfect with out sin, willingly stepped into my place and offered me His.  "...we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God.  For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him" (2 Corinthians 5:20).  This is a price that He has already so willingly paid.

Have you ever had someone wave a consequence that you so richly deserved?  How does it feel to know Christ has waved the eternal consequences for all of your sins?

It bring me peace, hope, joy, strength, and an admiration for Christ and my Heavenly Father--this is why i will sing their praises forever.  For all they have so willingly done for me!  God be thanked for the matchless gift of His son.  He has showed me mercy--He has not given me what i so rightly deserve.  He has given me strength, joy, peace in this world, and the promise of eternal life in the world to come--He has given me that which i don't deserve.

All He asks is for us to faith in Him, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth..." (Roman 1:16).

And to follow Him, "For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified" (2:13).

What peace the Gospel brings!  By the power of the Holy Ghost i solemnly proclaim that Jesus Christ is God's only begotten son, He is the Jehovah of Old Testament and the Messiah of the New, He is my Savior and yours, and He lives!  He has paid the ultimate price and has complete power to fulfill all that He has promised.  He can and will make us clean when we repent and follow Him--this I know.  He stands between me and what i so rightly deserve--this passes all my understanding--yet by God i know and have felt this truth...and the relief and peace that comes from His Gospel i cannot do with out.   In the His sacred name i bear this witness, even Jesus Chris, Amen.

Success

80% of success is just showing up!

If not now when?

What wilt thou have pay the price and take it.

Hypocrite

Warning you just might NOT be a Hypocrite!  Have you ever had a friend, roomate, comanion, or family member justtify their complaceny or rude behavor with the phrase, "I hate hypocrites." They wage war on their conscience and on you because they feel if it's not 100% natural it's completely hypocritical!

"Give me a Break!" The age old addage "Fake it till you make it" is 100% true genuine and viable.  As we discussed in class the ideas and principles of Charity I recieved further light and knowledge on the "I hate hypocrites" rant.  Their argument is fully blown away when one considers Paul's teaching in 1 Corin. 13.

Though I speak with the thongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a thinkling cymbal.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I five my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profieth me nothing. 

If a man hath not Charity he is nothing.  Now, this is the "I hate hypocrites" greatest rant, "see you can't just do things, just doing things is not enough!"  They're right but justified wrongly.  "If any man will do his will he shall know of the doctrine..."  We must act and show Charity.

To show Charity is all together fitting and proper!  Why?  It is because Charity is Christ.  Charity is the pure love of Christ.  Therefore, we have charity when we reflect the pure love and action of Christ.  It is to do what He would do and say what He would say regardless of the circumstances, consequences, or our current state of mind or feeling.

You don't have to "feel it" or "like it".   You reflect it.  You follow Christ and show His love, His care, His feeling, and His words.  This is because it is He that never faileth.  He beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all tings.  He suffereth long, and is kind; He evnieth not; He vaunteth not himself, He is not puffed up, and doth not behave himself unseemly, seeketh not his own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.

He is no hypocrite and therefore nether are we when we reflect Him in our deed, words, and thoughts.  Never shirk, we have taken His name upon us: Reflect Christ and always follow Him.

Found in the Bearing of It

Have you ever been asked to perform some hard task and then refused?  Why did you refuse?  For me when the situation arises it is because i have no faith that i'm capable of the task.  For example, i was asked to design a complicated project for my CS class, up on reaching a difficult point, i threw in the towel!  I was done!  It took council with the senior architect himself--my professor, to get me working again.  Once i had counseled with my professor i was able to move forward again.

It is fascinating to me how this same principle applies to testimony, we've all heard the truth, "Testimony is found in the bearing of it."  The faithless and prideful will never stand and speak what they feel is not true.  "But the natural man recieveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned." I loved this point in my New Testament class: to bear testimony of Christ or of the Gospel requires faith, a hope, a belief, a desire for it to be true, this desire invites the Holy Ghost then to bear witness of the truth, as He does the witnesses is sealed and the truth confirmed.  It is in this way that a testimony is found in the bearing of it.

As i go through life, i strive to face all of the hard problems but there are times when i have just had enough.  It those times that life for me becomes to hard to stand and requires prayer!  It's these times that i require the council from the chief architect.  He always answers!  In those tender moments i receive the strength and piece that i need to move on, the faith to push forward.  He sometimes rebukes me first to ensure i know where i went wrong and that i know messing up again is not to be accepted, but then He always steps in and speaks peace to my soul.  He has comforted my soul, healed it, cleansed it, changed it, and made it soar!  Jesus Christ lives and has all power to heal and to make clean, He has saved me from hell.  There is a God in Heaven who loves us, of this I know.

...But ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.


God be thanked for the matchless gift of His perfect Son!  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amman.

I just wanted to remember this!

It's really nice to hear a kind word!

HI Christopher,

                Good to hear from you.  A very impressive resume.  I’ll send it around today and see if we can generate some interest.  Is this for the summer or starting now?  How many hours a week are you interested in?

Bishop Whiting

Convex Hull

Ryan,

Through a project i deemed as utter misery, i was able to make a new friend.  It was just through a couple of simple suggestions on the implementation of the project.

It's so fun meeting new people, it make life worth while!

Sincerely,
Chris